I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
