My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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