Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
