dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
