you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
