and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
