Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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