I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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