Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
