I feel great
I just peed on a car
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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