Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
