do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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