allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
