I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
