So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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