He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Randomize
