my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
