Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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