So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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