Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
