Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
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