If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I AM VODKA MAN
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
