my sisters under your porch take her home
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
