omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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