I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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