Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
