Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Randomize
