I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
