Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
