thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
