so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
