your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
