They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
