Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
