can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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