I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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