3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
