And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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