Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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