Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I need to sanitize my soul.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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