Ketchup is God's man juice
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
is it fun? or sober?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
