I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
