I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I believe in your delicious
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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