ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I just googled if crying burns calories
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
So vagazzling was a success
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
