Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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