best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
