Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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