Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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