You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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