tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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